why walking is the ideal first meet-up
Let’s just say it out loud.
First friend meet-ups can feel weird.
You sit across from each other at a coffee shop, knees practically touching, making intense eye contact like you’re on a first date. You’re both wondering:
• Is this flowing?
• Do we have enough in common?
• How long is this supposed to last?
• When is it socially acceptable to leave?
And suddenly what was supposed to feel natural feels awkward and formal..
But I’ve found a simple fix.
Go for a walk.
Movement Makes Everything Easier
When you walk side by side instead of sitting face to face, the pressure drops immediately. You don’t have to hold eye contact the whole time. No one feels like they have to fill the silence. No performance is necessary. You’re just… moving.
And movement literally changes your chemistry and energy. Your body releases endorphins. Your nervous system regulates. Your brain shifts into a more relaxed state. You’re less self-conscious because your body isn’t frozen in place.
It’s amazing how much easier conversation feels when your body feels safe.
Walking is Non-Threatening by Design
There’s something inherently less intimidating about walking next to someone than sitting across from them. Across a table feels evaluative. Side by side feels collaborative. You’re not interrogating each other. You’re sharing space. You can comment on the neighborhood, the weather, the dog that just ran past. There are natural conversation bridges everywhere.
It feels more like, “Hey, let’s move our bodies and talk if we want to,” instead of, “We are now formally getting to know each other.”
Built-In Time Boundaries
This might be my favorite part. When you meet for coffee or wine, it’s hard to know when it’s over. Do you order another drink? Are we supposed to stay longer? Is she wanting to go? Am I wanting to go? Why is this awkward now?
With a walk, you decide ahead of time:
“Want to meet for a 30-minute walk?”
“Let’s do an hour loop around the lake.”
There’s a clear beginning and a clear end.
Now, if it’s amazing? You can extend it next time.
If it’s fine but not electric? You honored the time and you’re done.
If it’s not aligned? You still got your steps in.
No weird lingering. No drawn-out exits. (Just reading that helps me to exhale.)
It Takes the Performance Out of It
Isn’t it weird how sometimes we treat first meet-ups like auditions. It’s like we’re subconsciously trying to be impressive, interesting, deep, funny, warm, all at once. (as if that’s possible)
But walking reminds you:
This isn’t an interview. This is simply two humans seeing if their rhythms match. And when you’re in motion, you’re less likely to overthink every word. Silence doesn’t feel heavy. It feels like breathing space.
You can talk about real things. Or light things. Or nothing for a minute.
And that’s actually a beautiful litmus test, because friendship isn’t just about shared interests. It’s about shared ease.
It Honors Real Life
Especially in busy seasons (or full ones), committing to a long sit-down can feel like a lot, but most people can carve out 30–45 minutes to move their body.
You’re stacking habits. You’re supporting your health. You’re connecting without overextending. It’s sustainable. And sustainable connection is the goal.
The Invitation
If you’ve been putting off reaching out because first meet-ups feel awkward, try this:
“Hey, would you want to go for a walk sometime this week?”
Simple. Low pressure. Clear time frame.
You don’t need a perfect setting.
You don’t need a curated outfit.
You don’t need a deep agenda.
You just need comfortable shoes and a willingness to move.
Sometimes, the easiest way to build connection is to stop sitting across from each other and start walking side by side.
I have another new friend walking date coming up this weekend. I’ll be sure to share in another post how it goes.
XXOO Jeanna